檳榔嶼

女人想愛，卻別無選擇地只能加入以宰制為主的現代浪漫愛，無論女人如何獲得更多權力，諷刺的是，權力跟愛是背道而馳的。無論男人如何接受更多的性別平等，最終他們始終無法放棄性的宰制。我們始終活在一個，追求成功、追求權力遠比追求愛更為重要的世界，在現今浪漫愛的關係裡，我們甚至用成功失敗的男性宰制思維，在評估關係。這世界欺騙了女人，讓她們相信總會有男人願意愛她們，而讓她們相信，她們是沒有愛自己的能力的。

- Searching for love, I left the relationship I had been in for almost fifteen years. This common-law marriage began when I was nineteen and ended in my mid-thirties.
- Faced with making a living in the real "white supremacist capitalist patriarchal" work world, many of us began to shift our values away from the freethinking of those heady days of cultural revolution to compromise and adjust.

- My Search for love led me to feminism. Feminist thinking freed me from the weight of the past.
- Feminism drew to me groups of women who had similar stories to tell, women who, like me, wanted to be fully self-actualization, who wanted to end sexism, who wanted to be sexually free and heart-whole.

- Love could lead you astray. Marriage was the safe place - a place where women could bury dreams and pretend, create a make-believe world and remain there forever.
- My mother believed that it was a woman's place to stand behind and by her man. It was her place to obey his will and to meet his every need. In return he would protect and provide. These beliefs were upheld by Scripture and church, by school and community, and by the women's magazines she liked so much.

- Many of us feel better about aging because the old scripts that told us life ends at thirty or forty, that we turn into sexless zombies who bitch bitch bitch all the time and make everyone around us miserable were thrown away.
- By challenging sexist ways of thinking about the body, feminism offered new standards of beauty, telling us plump bodies were luscious and big bellies sublime, that hair hanging under our arms and covering our legs was alluring. It creates new possibilities of self-actualization in both our work lives and our intimate lives.

- Women talk about love. From girlhood on, we learn that conversations about love are a gendered narrative, a female subject.
  - In the eyes of a patriarchal universe we are never quite good enough.

- Redemptive love was often thought of in terms of the boundless love of a divine will powerful enough to enable the oppressed and exploited to find their way to freedom, to survive, and to triumph.
- Marktin Luther King : Love justice above all else, in such a way that we would be willing to give our lives to be free, he demanded that we move beyond the world of politics into a transcendent spiritual place of meaningful sacrifice.

我有一個朋友說過，他能接受lesbian但不能接受gay，因為肛交很髒。現在回想起來，這段話充滿了父權思想，為什麼情感關係必然會牽扯性交？為什麼性愛必然牽涉到陽具插入？為什麼陽具就必須要插入女人的陰道才能獲得歡愉？

- The patriarchal idea that men should rule over women did not promote gender equity or love between black women and men. All too often heterosexual relationships based on sexist norms in black life were places where men felt satisfied and women dissatisfied.
- Every black woman I knew growing up dreamed of having a black male partner who would give her financial support and allow her to be a housewife.

因此色情文化是父權保留一個強暴女性、宰制女性的空間，透過這樣的幻想，大多數男人認為自己可以任意地凌駕在所有女人之上，無論權利與階級，他們認為在性交層面，他們永遠處於宰制的地位。因此，女人不要參與色情文化。當愈多女人參與色情文化，男人愈容易在其中獲得獎賞，那將會鼓勵更多男人加入花花公子的行列。

- Assailed on all sides by a white supremacist culture that stereotypes black females as "welfare queens", by black men who claim they are the victims of these castrating breeders who would rather live off welfare than have a good man support them, and by the shaming judgment of a nation that castigates unmarried poor women who birth children, while idolizing unmarried rich and famous women who choose to parent, single black mothers are increasingly represented in the mass media as harsh, uncaring parents.
- Barbara Omolade, <<The Rising Song of African-American Women>> : "Most black single mothers are the working poor. We do domestic work, sew in factories, and are self-employed as merchants and caterers. We commute daily to city, state, and federal government agencies. As paralegals, aides, and clerks, we are the backbone of the hospital, child care, and nursing home systems. Although the wages are low and the work tedious, black women stay with city jobs for years because they offer stability and benefits."

- It has not been easy for black women to maintain faith in love in a society that has systematically devalued our bodies and our beings.
- W. E. B. Du Bois, <Damnaiton of Women> : "The crushing weight of slavery fell on black women. Under it there was no legal marriage, no legal family, no legal control over children...Out of this what sort of black women can be born into the world of today?There are those who hasten to answer this query in scathing terms and who say lightly and repeatedly that our of black slavery came nothing decent in womanhood; that adultery and uncleanliness were their heritage and are their continued portion."

每個女人要擺脫身體/外貌受到父權的宰制，那意謂著每個女人都要學著別根據別人的身體/外貌來評價自己跟別人。男性宰制的色情文化，基本邏輯是美是好的，醜是壞的，但美醜的標準是掌控在男人的手裡，以服務男人的性慾為基礎。也就是說，一個女人的價值必須要建立在引起男人的性慾。

我們常混淆一件事，一個黑人或一個女人當了領袖，並不等同於所有相同族群的人都能獲得平等。這通常會有一種示範作用，擁有特權的族群會更不滿的表示，妳們都已經有這麼多的權力了，還想要怎麼樣？台灣原住民的處境其實跟黑人有點相似，深埋在一般人心裡，或多或少仍然歧視原住民。

一個自由、平等、博愛的世界，不需要去排名誰比較民主、誰女權進步、誰比較適合居住。因為有歧視、有不公平，才會有排名。或許妳會以為，黑人的種族歧視關我們什麼事，當我們這樣想的時候，我們心裡就沒有愛。別人的事不會跟我們無關，種族歧視、性別歧視、階級歧視...都是歧視，只是對象不同，在這樣的世界裡，如果無法有意識的活著，沒有人能擺脫壓迫跟被壓迫。

- Erich Fromm, <<The Art of Loving>> : "love is a fusion of care, respect, knowledge, and responsibility."
- M. Scott Peck : "the will to nurture one's own and another's spiritual growth."

**** Introduction ****
- Love does not bring an end to difficuties, it gives us the strength to cope with difficulties in a constructive way.

- To be truly visionary we have to root our imagination in our concrete reality while simultaneously imaging possibilities beyond that reality.
- The dream was replacing that culture of domination with a wolrd of patricipatory economics grounded in communalism and social democracy, a world without discrimination based on race or gender, a world where recognition of mutuality and interdependency would be the dominant ethos, a global ecological vision of how the planet can survive and how everyone on it can have access to peace and well-being.

- Despite the sexism of male-dominated religions females have found in spiritual practice a place of solace and sanctuary.
- Our savior is our true Mother in whom we are endlessly born and out of whom we shall never come.

- If women and men want to know love, we have to yearn for feminism.
  - For without feminist thinking and practice we lack the foundation to create loving bonds.