檳榔嶼

因此色情文化是父權保留一個強暴女性、宰制女性的空間，透過這樣的幻想，大多數男人認為自己可以任意地凌駕在所有女人之上，無論權利與階級，他們認為在性交層面，他們永遠處於宰制的地位。因此，女人不要參與色情文化。當愈多女人參與色情文化，男人愈容易在其中獲得獎賞，那將會鼓勵更多男人加入花花公子的行列。

- Nathan McCall, <<Makes Me Wanna Holler>> : "I never heard my friends say they wanted to be like their fathers when they grew up. Why would we want that when we knew our fathers were catching hell? That would be like saying we wanted to catch hell, too. If anything we wanted to be the opposite of our fathers. We didn't want to work for the white man and end up like them." (這也指出，男孩的男性典範沒有一定要是父親。如果他們被教育必須進入男性宰制的父權社會，必須在競爭中獲勝的話，他們會從社會中選取最成功者的男性當成典範。甚至會用那些男性典範來鄙視自己的父親。像是 : 為什麼我爸不是李嘉誠？這一類的話，有極高的比例是從男人的口中說出。另外一種變型像是：想當誰的養子，或是阿姨我不想努力了，這不代表女性意識的抬頭，這只代表男性典範的典型是權利跟階級，而那些擁有父權思想的女人，基本上跟男人無異。)
  - This was the mind-set that led new generations of black males to accept the racist notion that their fathers were not "real" men and with it the idea that black women were somehow in cahoots with white men to keep the black man down.
- When the younger generation of black males could not blame everything on white racism, they targeted black women. (這跟台灣目前的年輕人的困境類似，當生活、工作、處境都變得困難時，他們不會去指責階級，他們一樣去追捧像張忠謀、郭台銘等富人，從那些男性模範的身上，他們看見了金錢的權力，讓他們可以凌駕在女性之上。他們傾向去譴責女性意識的抬頭，女人加入了競爭行列，女權過剩，造成了他們的困境。這或許也是目前台灣男性仇女文化的因素之一。)
- Falling into line with the thinking of the Moynihan report, which suggested that a black matriarchy existed which disempowered black men, they began to suggest that black women should be more subordinate if black men were to assume their rightful place as patriarchs. Love was not the issue, the issue was their ongoing homosocial war with white men.
- Eldridge Cleaver, <<Soul on Ice>>, Embracing the identity of rapist, he bragged about raping black women as practice for raping white women.
  - Clever, and the black males who thought as he did, were conducting a war with white men over who could be the real man, the hard man, the big dick.
  - In the wake of the contemporary feminist movement, black males were daring white men to stand up and celebrate patriarchal masculinity rooted in woman-hating.
  - Cleaver, and other self-declared militant black male leaders, said nothing about love.
- Importantly, we need to remember that it was a white-male-dominated publishing industry which printed and sold <<Soul on Ice>>.
  - While white male patriarchs were pretending to respond to the demands of the feminist movement, they were allowing and even encouraging black males to give voice to violent woman-hating sentiments.
- These young men disrespected and devalued black women's place in freedom struggles. Their newly found manhood could only be affirmed when they could subordinate women.
- Unable to sustain a competitive patriarchal masculinity in the world of work, where control was still in white hands, many patriarchal black men looked to the sexual arena as the place where they could salvage wounded self-esteem. While they might not possess the political and economic power of patriarchal white men, they could outdo them on the sexual front. When it came to sex, they could win.
- Once the image of the playboy was projected as desirable, it became more acceptable for black males to father children and assume no responsibility for parenting.
- Misogynist rap and woman-hating hip-hop culture continues to encourage black males to hate women, and to see being sexual predators as "cool".
- Barbara Ehrenreich, <<The Hearts of Men: American Dreams and the Flight from Commitment>> : The widespread white male embrace of playboy masculinity. The new playboy was out to have fun and was willing to use and abuse women in the process. His value and worth was determined by his capacity to seduce women. (無論如何給個別男人貼上渣男的標籤都無濟於事，這種行為對崇尚色情文化的男人來說，渣男反而是個勳章。他帶著這個勳章還能成功征服女人的話，他反而會覺得更有成就。)
- Nathan McCall, <<Makes Me Wanna Holler>> : "A two-parent home is not better off than a single-parent one if the father is fucked up in the head and beaten down. There's nothing more dangerous and destructive in a household than a frustrated, oppressed black man."
- Naturally a culture that teaches everyone that fathers exist to provide material sustenance places no value on the emotional nurturance of fathers.
- Clearly, many children who are raised without fathers can and do grow to be healthy, mature adults. This does not mean that they do not have grief about their absent fathers.
  - Jonetta Rose Barros, <<Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl>> : "A girl abandoned by the first man in her life forever entertains powerful feelings of being unworthy or incapable of receiving any man's love. Children raised in the most loving lesbian families often still yearn to know about their fathers... Father love helps to create a foundation for healthy self-esteem among children."
  - It is psychologically damaging to children when fathers are not loving. Most black fathers are rarely completely absent from a child's life. They may appear and disappear.
- Society told men either that the emotional contributions of men have no meaning or that to be real men they must withhold affection, affirmation, and love.
- In our family, the one boy was damaged not because Daddy was not present but because he always treated his son with contempt and disdain, undermining his self-esteem and his self-confidence.
- A central component of patriarchal thinking is that it is the male role to discipline children.
  - In many homes such thinking has sanctioned cruel physical punishment of children by adult men. Since women also are socialized to accept patriarchal thinking, lots of women believe that a man is performing his proper role when he acts as an authoritarian disciplinarian.
  - When fathers are present and uncaring or cruel, they do damage. A father who seldom sees a child but gives love contributes more to that child's emotional growth than a father who is present but always indifferent, who shames, coerces, and engages in all manner of abusive behavior.
- The moment we place love on the agenda we have to talk about all the forces in our society that keep us from being loving, from loving ourselves and others.
  - If our entries culture taught all men the art of loving, we would not have the problem of absent fathers.
  - Patriarchal thinking certainly does not encourage men to be self-loving. Instead it encourage them to believe that power is more important than love, particularly the power to dominate and control others.
- Frank Pittman, <<Man Enough>> : "The great passion in a man's life may not be for women or men or wealth or toys or fame, or even for his children, but for his masculinity, and at any point in his life he may be tempted to throw over the things for which he regularly lays down his life, for the sake of that masculinity."
- Loving black males find their way to love by letting go of patriarchal thinking which insists that they be defined by what they do with their penis, or by how brutal, mean, and dominating they can be toward someone else.
- Feminist thinking is useful to black males, and all males, who are grappling with the issue of self-love because it offers strategies that enable them to challenge and change patriarchal masculinity. It offers to men a vision of liberatory masculinity.
- In black life, males often learn on the one hand to overidentify with the penis and on the other hand to see the penis, and sexuality, in general as the enemy of their well-being. This then sets the stage for scapegoating and blaming women, whether they be mothers or lovers.
- When black males stop blaming women or any force outside their control for their inability to take responsibility for their lives, they are on the path to self-love and healing.
- Black mothers, like other women in patriarchal society, often feel they are fulfilling their rightful role by serving males, whether they are husbands or sons.
  - In reality the male who never learns how to take care of his basic needs is infantilized.
- The flip side of the indulgent subordinated mother who bends over backward to meet her son's every need is the domineering, verbally and/or physically abusive mother who uses shaming and constant humiliation as a means of disciplining male children.
- In two-parent houses where adult males degrade mothers, boys who witness this may be overwhelmed by guilt and spend their lives trying to give their mother the care she has been denied.
  - In all homes, be they single- or two-parent households, boys are damaged when mothers force them to be symbolic partners. While they may strive to satisfy the mom, they feel rage and resentment that they are placed in this position.
- All the signle mothers, black and nonblack, who raise healthy sons who later become mature, responsible men capable of giving and receiving love know that it is a lie that only men can raise boys.
- Patriarchal culture currently seeks to devalue single mothers by insisting they cannot raise healthy sons, even though there is no documentation to show this truth.
  - Loving single mothers can and do parent sons who are as healthy as those in two-parent households. Dysfunctional households rarely produce psychologically healthy boys whether they are single- or two-parent households.
- Attacks on black single mothers raising sons are rooted in woman-hating.
- Healthy mothers and fathers know that the patriarchal vision of masculinity puts their sons a risk. While it may help them grow into acceptable "macho" men capable of being hard, it will not teach them how to know who they are, be responsible, and be able to love.
- Opposing patriarchal notions of masculinity is one way to support boys and men in their efforts to be self-loving.
  - Good man as one who "will be empathic and strong, autonomous and connected, responsible to self, to family and friends, and to society, and capable of understanding how those responsibilities are, ultimately, in separable"
  - These men are individuals who have dared to break with conventional macho masculinity and care for their soul and their inner life.
- By learning self-love, Jarvis Jay Masters practiced forgiveness and compassion.