檳榔嶼

- Forgiveness is a decision.
  - It is the decision to see beyond fears, idiosyncraisies, neuroses, and mistakes - to see a pure essence, unconditioned by personal history, that has limitless potential and is always worthy of respect and love.
- Forgiveness is an attitude.
  - you are willing to accept responsibility for your perceptions, realizing that your perceptions are a choice and not an objective fact.
- Forgiveness is a process.
  - Not a one-time event.
- Forgiveness is a way of life.
  - When most people think about forgiving, they think about it as something to be done from situation to situation, angry incident to angry incident.
- The idea of seeing all anger as a call for acknowledgement, respect, help, and love can be a radical departure from the way we have learned to perceive and respond to anger.
- Forgiveness is not about what we do, it is about the way we perceive people and circumstances.
  - Regardless of what I choose to do, seeing his behavior as an expression of fear and a call for love and respect would have allowed me to be less likely to contribute to escalating fear and, as a result, more likely to respond in a truly helpful way.

SUBPERSONALLITIES AND THE SELF
- To the degree that we identify with any particular subpersonality, we see the world through the colored glasses of that particular identification.
- Part of the process of growing up, of healthy development, includes developing and identifying with the many subpersonalities - with the emotions we feel, the roles we adopt, and the beliefs we hold.
- Being aligned with our true Self quite consistently is an experience that few of us in "civilized" society have had. Very few people have been consciously aware of the existence of the Self.
- If you are primarily identified with anger, you will experience the world accordingly, tending to blame and judge others.

GETTING CLEAR: FORGIVENESS VS. AVOIDANCE
- If you are willing to allow unacceptable behavior again and again in the name of "forgiveness", you are more than likely using "forgiveness" as an excuse not to take responsibility for taking care of yourself or as a way to avoid making changes.

A PRACTICAL APPLICATION
- Forgiving would entail the willingness to acknowledge and relate to the Self in your boss (or say enemy), to the wise, reasonable nature in him, even though your ego might assure you that that is ridiculous, that he does not have a Self - and that his light is out. It requires affirming hise wholeness regardless of what fragment you see.
- Forgiving will make ourself not lost in anger and judgment.
- Using your onceperceived "enemy" to nurture yourself and grow.
- However, forgiving him or her does not imply that you should or will stay in the same situation.
- "I promised myself that no matter that people said or di, I would see them as a sign of their fear or insecurity."