檳榔嶼

- Why do you have a hard time listening
  - We're distracted.
  - We're too busy interrupting.
  - We're nervous.
  - We don't agree.
  --> When you're not listening, you alienate people.

- What are the signs you're not listening?
  - Interrupting
  - Changing topics
  - Debating
  - Playing with electronic devices
  - Asking them to repeat

- What to do when you're not being listened to
  - Notice how it makes you fell
  - Try to get the attention back
    - Softer, lower your voice, or even silence
  - Say something

- How to adopt the mindset of listening
  - Understand your motivation
  - Show you care
  - Understand the real problem or issue
    - Move your focus
  - Embrace your curiosity
  - Recognize the consequences, if people try to say to you again and again:
    - People stop trying
    - People resent you
    - People become less effective

- How to set the stage for high-stakes conversations
  - Idenfity the right time
  - Pick the right setting
  - Be ready to focus
  - Consider involving others

- The structure of meaningfule listening
  - Use silence and space
  - Use eye contact
  - Be mindful of body language
  - Use empathy
  - Ask open-ended questions
  - Use the "help me understand" approach

- How to listen for what's not being said
  - Listen for what's not being said
    - Emotion
    - Subtext
    - Microexpressions
    - Tone of voice
    - Eye contact
    - Energy level

- How to keep yourself from interrupting
  - Take notes
  - Breathing, monitoring your heart-beating
  - Pretend you're filming an interview, wait completion
  - Remember : you gain nothing from interrupting

- How to let them know you've heard them
  - Validate the other person
  - Assimilate, restate, and show you understand the impact
  - Pay attention words to use
  - Ask them to expand
    - Why is that?
    - How is that make you feel?
  - Ask them for possible solutions

- What to do when you're listening to someone annoying
  - Try to connect with their passion
  - Restate their point with an action plan
  - If you're at fault apologize or If you're not at fault, understand their need 
  - Listen and Discover