檳榔嶼

跟所有的人的關係是跟自己關係的延伸。人無法只愛一個人，不愛自己，也不愛其他人。當浪漫愛把愛定義成獨佔，並且是連結到性關係的，這樣的關係已經是宰制的關係，這樣的愛也是權力。一個不愛自己的人，是無法真正愛另一個人的。

- Erica Jong, <Pathfinder> : "The greatest freedom I have now is that I no longer believe that anyone else can save my life."
- The root meaning of the word "passion" is "to suffer". The passions we choose awaken and transform us. That includes sexual passion.
- Beth Benatovich, <<Wisdom Among Women>> : all the women testify that it is greater self-knowledge that enhances their lives. They are clearer about who they are and what they want. And, most important, they are willing to take the risks necessary to bring new pleasure and joy into their lives.
- One of the anonymous lesbian women interviewed for <<The Hite Report>> felt that after her mastectomy, her thinking about romance changed. She was no longer interested in coupling or embracing; instead she craved an erotica of being.... Her choice to cease coupling cleared the space for her to embrace a passionate existence. This may be what true love means in her life.
- A woman's refusal to give up on love need not manifest itself in the conventional way of seeking a mate. It can manifest as seeking a more authentic relationship between self and world.
- Having made a conscious decision to let sexual romance go in her late fifties, Gloria Steinem confesses, "I think the truth is that finding ourselves brings more excitement and well-being than anything romance has to offer, and somewhere we know that."
- Romance is different when two people approach each other from the space of knowledge rather than absolute mystery.
- Old ideas about romantic love taught females and males to believe that erotic tension depended on the absence of communication and understanding. This misinformation about the nature of love has helped to further the politics of domination, particularly male domination of women. Without knowing one another, we can never experience intimacy.
  - Women want to know the men in our lives, whether they are fathers, uncles, brothers, lovers, friends, and to have this knowing be the basis for connection and intimacy.
  - Until women and men begin to think of knowledge as an erotic space of connection, both self-understanding and understanding of the other, we cannot change our sense of romance.
  - Within patriarchal culture, most people learn romantic love as a union of opposites. Women have often looked to men, especially more powerful men, to fill the incomplete spaces in their lives.
- John Welwood, <<Love and Awakening>> : "We imagine that we should be able to establish a rich and satisfying relationship with someone we love, even if we have never learned to relate to ourselves in a rich, satisfying way... We often don't see that how we relate to another inevitably follow from how we relate to ourselves, that our outer relationships are but an extension of our inner lives, that we can only be as open and present with another as we are with ourselves."
  - "True love always requires great daring."
  - Awareness born of love is the only force that can bring healing and renewal. Out of our love for another person, we become more willing to let our old identities wither and fall away, and enter a dark night of the soul, so that we may stand naked once more in the presence of the great mystery that lies at the core of our being.
- Love comes only as we find love within. To risk self-knowledge is to begin love's journey.
  - The cultivation of care, knowledge, respect, and responsibility in relation to the self, when we do this work earlier in our lives, we have the skills that make loving and receiving love possible.
  - The intensity of mutual connection lays the groundwork for two individuals to become soul mates - partners who are willing to do the work of love.
- Another great wisdom gift that women offer to those who have not yet discovered its pleasures is the wisdom that it is better to know the joy of dancing in a circle of love than to dance alone.
- Women in love offer to the world our inner gifts, seeking companions to share mutual regards and recognition - a communion of souls that will sustain and abide.