檳榔嶼

- Awakening to love can happen only as we let go of our obsession with power and domination.
  - The underlying values of a culture and its ethics shape and inform the way we speak and act.
  - A love ethic presupposes that everyone has the right to be free, to love fully and well. (佛洛伊德的預設，已經讓女人失去自由。)
- Erich Fromm, <<The Art of Loving>>
  - important and radical changes are necessary, if love is to become a social and not a highly individualistic, marginal phenomenon.
  - Society must be organized in such a ways that man's social, loving nature is not separated from his social existence, but becomes one with it. If it is true as I have tried to show that love is the only sane and satisfactory response to the problem of human existence, then any society which excludes, relatively, the development of love, must in the long run perish of its own contradiction with the basic necessities of human nature. Indeed, to speak of love is not 'preaching', for the simple reason that it means to speak of the ultimate and real need in every human being. ... To have faith in the possibility of love as a social and not only exceptional-individual phenomenon, is a rational faith based on the insight into the very nature of man."
- Individuals who choose to love can and do alter our lives in ways that honor the primacy of a love ethic. We do this by choosing to work with individuals we admire and respect; by committing to give our all to relationships; by embracing a global vision wherein we see our lives and our fate as intimately connected to those of everyone else on the planet.
- While careers and making money remain important agendas, they never take precedence over valuing and nurturing human life and well-being.
- I know no one who has embraced a love ethic whose life has not become joyous and more fulfilling.
  - The widespread assumption that ethical behavior takes the fun out of life is false. In actuality, living ethically ensures that relationships in our lives, including encounters with strangers, nurture our spiritual growth.
  - Behaving unethically, with no thought to the consequences of our actions, is a lit like eating tons of junk food. While it may taste good, in the end the body is never really adequately nourished and remains in a constant state of lack and longing.
  - Our souls feel this lack when we act unethically, behaving in ways that diminish our spirits and dehumanize others.
- I am talking here about the many prophets of doom who tell us that racism will never end, sexism is here to stay, the rich will never share their resources.
  - Then necessity of changin our thinking so that we see ourselves as being like the one who does change rather than among the among who refuse to change.
  - What made these individuals exceptional was not that they were any smarter or kinder than their neighbors but that they were willing to live the truth of their values.
- Almost everyone will insist that they do not support male violence against women, that they believe it to be morally and ethically wrong. However, if you then explain that we can only end male violence against women by challenging patriarchy, and that means no longer accepting the notion that men should have more rights and privileges than women because of biological difference or that men should have the power to rule over women, that is when the agreement stops. (那些反對解散父權、高喊女權已經過剩的男人們，真的懂得愛嗎？相對於父權的體制，不見得是女"權"，為什麼以女性特質建構的社會，就一定要是追求權力？不能是以追求愛為主的社會嗎？女權女權，這仍然是父權思維。當女人開始說一點點實話，就已經是女權過剩了，那無限上綱的父權是？只是擁有父權的1%就過剩了嗎？)
- There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
  - "Perfect" : for some time, I thought of this word only in relation to being without fault or defect. 
  - "Perfect" : the will "to refine"
- As we love , fear necessarily leaves. Contrary to the notion that one must work to attain perfection, this outcome does not have to be struggled for - it just happens. It is the gift perfect love offers. Toe receive the gift, we must first understand that "there is no fear in love". But we do fear and fear keeps us from trusting in love.
- Cultures of domination rely on the cultivation of fear as a way to ensure obedience.
  - As a culture we are obsessed with the notion of safety. Yet we do not question why we live in states of extreme anxiety and dread.
  - Fear is the primary force upholding structures of domination.
  - When we are taught that safety lies always with sameness, then difference, of any kind, will appear as a threat.
  - Since so many of us are imprisoned by fear, we can move toward a love ethic only by the process of conversion.
- Being aware enables us to critically examine our actions to see what is needed so that we can give care, be responsible, show respect, and indicate a willingness to learn.
  - Understanding knowledge as an essential element of love is vital because we are daily bombarded with messages that tell us love is about mystery, about that which cannot be know.
  - We see movies in which people are represented as being in love who never talk with one another, who fall into bed without ever discussing their bodies, their sexual needs, their likes and dislikes.
  - The mass media dwells on and perpetuates an ethic of domination and violence because our image makers have more intimate knowledge of these realities than they have with the realities of love.
    - We are all affected by the images we consume and by the state of mind we are in when watching them.
- We cannot talk about changing the types of images offered us in the mass media without acknowledging the extent to which the vast majority of the images we see are created from a patriarchal standpoint. These images will not change until patriarchal thinking and perspectives change.
  - Individual women and men who do not see themselves as victims of patriarchal power find it difficult to take seriously the need to challenge and change patriarchal thinking.
  - Masses of people are negatively affected by patriarchal institutions and, most specifically, by male domination.
  - Since individuals committed to advancing patriarchy are producing most of the images we see, they have an investment in providing us with representations that reflect their values and the social institutions they wish to uphold
- Patriarchy, like any system of domination (for example, racism, sexism), relies on socializing everyone to believe that in all human relations there is an inferior and a superior party, one person is strong, the other weak, and that it is therefore natural for the powerful to rule over the powerless.
  - To those who support patriarchal thinking, maintaining power and control is acceptable by whatever means.
  - Naturally, anyone socialized to think this way would be more interested in and stimulated by scenes of domination and violence rather than by scenes of love and care. (想想為什麼多數男人熱愛好萊塢英雄電影)
- We can exercise our power all the time by not choosing to invest time, energy, or funds to support the production and dissemination of mass media images that do not reflect life-enhancing values, that undermine a love ethic.
  - When images we see condone violence, whether they lead any of us to be "more" violent or not, they do affirm the notion that violence is an acceptable means of social control, that it is fine for one individual or group to dominate another individual or group.
- If all public policy was created in the spirit of love, we would not have to worry about unemployment, homelessness, schools failing to teach children, or addiction.
- To live our lives based on the principles of a love ethic (showing care, respect, knowledge, integrity, and the will to cooperate), we have to be courageous. Learning how to face our fears is one way we embrace love.