檳榔嶼

- We learn about love in childhood. Whether our homes are happy or troubled, our families functional or dysfunctional, it's the original school of love.
  - Love was always and only about good feeling. But why was harsh punishment a gesture of love?
    - Just like the lie the grown-ups told when they explained after harsh punishment, "It hurts me more than it hurts you."
- On the flip side there are masses of children who grow up confident love is a good feeling who are never punished, who are allowed to believe that love is only about getting your needs met, your desires satisfied.
  - These children are usually as unclear about love's meaning as their neglected and emotionally abandoned counterparts.
- From early childhood on, most of us remember being told we were loved when we did things pleasing to our parents. And we learned to give them affirmations of love when they pleased us.
  - As children grow they associate love more with acts of attention, affection, and caring.They still see parents who attempt to satisfy their desires as giving love.
- When asked to define love, small children pretty much agree that it's a good feeling, "My mommy loves me because she takes care of me and helps me do everything right."
- When asked how to love someone, they talk about giving hugs and kisses, being sweet and cuddly.
- There can be no love without justice.Until we live in a culture that not only respects but also upholds basic civil rights for children, most children will not know love.
  - As absolute rulers, parents can usually decide without any intervention what is best for their children.
- Men spoke the loudest in defense of physical punishment. Women talked about hitting as a last resort, but one that they deployed when necessary.
- One of the most important social myths we must debunk if we are to become a more loving culture is the one that teaches parents that abuse and neglect can coexist with love.
  - Abuse and neglect negate love.
- When parents start out disciplining children by using punishment, this becomes the pattern children respond to. Loving parents work hard to discipline without punishment. Punishments can be like time-outs or the taking away of privileges.
- What we see on televison today actually, at best, models for us inappropriate behavior, and in worst-case scenarios, unloving behaviors.